Go Leggers! And you just happen to be in luck. <Hands over spare bra.> There ya go - 2 D cups. <wink> Wear 'em in health. <Cops a feel while Leggers stands there, ahem, GROPING for words.>

Hiya Phicks. <slides over a bottle of clear corn> Now we've gone and reached critical mass. Let the orgy, er, party begin!!

Speaking of sheep shagging, anyone seen neccers?? Can't have sheep w/o the Welsh contingent. <wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more, say no more!>

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FADBeens

DA VINCI CODE
Writting across the wall of the cave.
It was considered a unique find and the writings were carbon dated at approx three thousand years old!

The stone on which the symbols appeared was removed, brought to a museum, where archaeologists from around the world came to study the ancient symbols. They heldnumerous meetings and after months of deliberations determined the meaning of the markings.

The President of the society pointed to the first symboland said:
"This is a woman. We can see these people held women in high esteem. You can also tell they were intelligent, as the next symbol is a donkey, so they were astute enough to have animals help them till the soil. The next drawing is a shovel, which means they utilised tools."


Even further proof of their high intelligence is the fish, which means that in times of famine, they sought food from the sea. The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrew.

The audience applauded enthusiastically.


Then a little old Jewish man stood up in the back of the room and said, "Idiots, Hebrew is read from right to left......
It says: 'Holy Mackerel, Dig The @ss On That Chick

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What makes that even funnier is it's about how accurate most "experts" seem to be. <rolls eyes>

After 36 hours of rain, the skies are slated to clear here in north Florida sometime this afternoon. It's about time. It's been raining so long that the large grey cat doesn't even stand with her nose pressed longingly to the door anymore. She simply chowed down and went back to her nest in the spare room.

Coffee's on!

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FADBeens

Are we all ready for another limerick?

There once was a man from Peru
Who fell asleep in a canoe
While dreaming of Venus
He played with his penis
And woke with a hand full of goo

Happy Friday!

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If you cant say something nice, say something vague.

And if you can't think of something vague, then shut the hell up! =)

Ah hell, how about one more. I'm feeling kinda froggy today =)

There once was a man from San Blas
Who had balls made of brass
He'd rub them together
And play "Stormy Weather"
And lightening would shoot out his ass

And I was thinking GP, with all of these g-strings that you are handing out, what do you do for the people that go commando? =)

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If you cant say something nice, say something vague.

And if you can't think of something vague, then shut the hell up! =)

Yet another submission for the "worst limerick of the week" award ....

There once was a bloke from Devizes,
Whose bollocks were different sizes,
The first was so small,
It was no use at all,
While the other one won many prizes!

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Guys that go commando... well, it's a hard subject, but I've studied it in depth. And while the issue can be really slippery, taken firmly in hand, a serious student can grasp it at length.

This thread is just full of big boys
All boasting the size of their toys
But GP is kinky
And loves watching winky
And brings all her men oh such joys.

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FADBeens

If I wasn't married I would track you down!

hehehehehe

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If you cant say something nice, say something vague.

And if you can't think of something vague, then shut the hell up! =)

If you weren't married, I'd let you.

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FADBeens

LMAO!

Ok, just want to be clear here before I get going; this is a generalization you are about to hear.

More often than not, at least in my experience, there seems to be a tremendous amount of funny men on this planet and no so many womem. Now I'm not saying there not out there, but truly when you see a comedy show how often do you see a woman?

But God Damn GP you are funny!

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If you cant say something nice, say something vague.

And if you can't think of something vague, then shut the hell up! =)

<Blushing wildly> Thanks, Fully!

Just seems like life has its funny moments and its a pity not to share. As you may have noticed, I love playing with words.

Now, in a semi annual descent into traditional female activities, I actually dusted the cobwebs off the mixer and made vanilla cupcakes. There's a fresh gallon of cold milk in the fridge and the coffee's always hot in the G-String. Chow down. The thighs you save may be mine!

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FADBeens

Got up and drove 30 minutes to a ladies breakfast. Since we're all former DoD, I use the term "lady" VERY loosely. <grin> A rowdy time was had by all. You know it's a good breakfast when the table full of truckers next to you gets nervous and leaves. <snicker> Waitresses were in hysterics. But the coffee was good and the food plentiful - took us 2 hours to scarf the buffet.

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FADBeens

A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in
the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation
was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the
dinner. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words
while they waited.

" I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I
heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very
first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a
television set and, when stopped by the police, had almost murdered the
officer. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his
place of business, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs,
and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I
knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a
fine parish full good and loving people."..

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of
apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation
and give his talk. "I'll never forget the first day our parish priest
arrived," said the politician. "In fact, I had the honor of being the
first one to go to him in confession."

Moral: DON'T EVER BE LATE

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CLICK ME TO VISIT THE CLANGERS FORUM

Good one! :-)) That's real live.....

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Teddies....

It's a grey day here in Florida. 55F/13C with the temps slated to drop to 35F/2C tonight. Yes, we're the part of the state they DON'T advertise to tourists. Mwuu ha ha ha! [We're also the part of the state the real people live in because we like to have seasons, but that's another rant.]

I'm on my 2nd cup of coffee and the large grey cat has been out and in again. She does NOT like her fur "rumpseded" as Ghost Mom used to call it. [For the non English speakers, that's baby talk for rumpled.]

Those of you who haven't come to know me yet, I AM the servant of the large grey cat, otherwise known as THE Puss. Puss is 14 1/2, opinionated and has everyone who meets her firmly under paw. She was born on Nellis AFB in Las Vegas and there have been some mutters about radiation and environmental effects of chemicals. Puss snorts at this. Measured at a yard long [approx a meter], she IS a large grey cat and weighs in at 14 lbs/6.3 kilos/1 stone. She's also very much a company cat and loves to be involved in EVERYTHING going on, including posting on the boards.

Why am I telling you all this? You'll see as the posts and threads progress. She is very much a feature on the boards, as is my morning quest for coffee and the infamous bunny slippers.

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FADBeens

It's a grey day here in Florida. 55F/13C with the temps slated to drop to 35F/2C tonight. Yes, we're the part of the state they DON'T advertise to tourists. Mwuu ha ha ha! [We're also the part of the state the real people live in because we like to have seasons, but that's another rant.]

I'm on my 2nd cup of coffee and the large grey cat has been out and in again. She does NOT like her fur "rumpseded" as Ghost Mom used to call it. [For the non English speakers, that's baby talk for rumpled.]

Those of you who haven't come to know me yet, I AM the servant of the large grey cat, otherwise known as THE Puss. Puss is 14 1/2, opinionated and has everyone who meets her firmly under paw. She was born on Nellis AFB in Las Vegas and there have been some mutters about radiation and environmental effects of chemicals. Puss snorts at this. Measured at a yard long [approx a meter], she IS a large grey cat and weighs in at 14 lbs/6.3 kilos/1 stone. She's also very much a company cat and loves to be involved in EVERYTHING going on, including posting on the boards.

Why am I telling you all this? You'll see as the posts and threads progress. She is very much a feature on the boards, as is my morning quest for coffee and the infamous bunny slippers.

You're making me homesick. At home, I have a 13 pound orange tabby that runs to roost. He wandered in one day oh... 2 years ago I think. And that, as they say, was that.

I miss my daily cuddle. ::sigh::

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Kathryn :o)
The BOINC FAQ Service
The Unofficial BOINC Wiki
The Trac System
More BOINC information than you can shake a stick of RAM at.

There's just nothing like that cold nose under your chin and two huge paws kneading away at your chest. Especially when those claws are due for a trim!

Dishwasher's running, washing machine's running - yes, I'm on a cleaning binge. Stop me now before I go and exercise!!!

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FADBeens

Has gone cold [for Florida]. Have actual vinyl spinning on a record player. Even found a Mario Lanza Christmas record from the 1950s. And NO I'm not that old. <swat!> Just working my way thru parental acquisitions. Funny how the sound quality seems flat after years of listening to digital!

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FADBeens

Those of you who haven't come to know me yet, I AM the servant of the large grey cat, otherwise known as THE Puss. Puss is 14 1/2, opinionated and has everyone who meets her firmly under paw. She was born on Nellis AFB in Las Vegas and there have been some mutters about radiation and environmental effects of chemicals. Puss snorts at this. Measured at a yard long [approx a meter], she IS a large grey cat and weighs in at 14 lbs/6.3 kilos/1 stone. She's also very much a company cat and loves to be involved in EVERYTHING going on, including posting on the boards.

Why am I telling you all this? You'll see as the posts and threads progress. She is very much a feature on the boards, as is my morning quest for coffee and the infamous bunny slippers.

Your large grey cat sounds much like our large grey tabby, otherwise known as Teddybear.



I imagine you are also at least subconsciously aware of the following truth. Ancient Egyptians regarded cats as Deities. I have a nasty suspicion that modern day cats have worked this out. An example of this sort of thing is the Califiornia king bed shown here:



As can be seen, this bed is not the property of my wife and I, it clearly owned by our cat. He is gracious enough to let us sleep on it, but only on the understanding that it is his bed.

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I see a pattern here. The Puss has an eastern King she permits me to sleep in. And I was already aware of her deity status, my first cat having educated this ignorant human. After all, I AM Servant of the Large Grey Cat and Purveyor of Overpriced and Highly Stinking Good Stuff. LOL

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FADBeens